Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Note from Lalaina

Dear BPR,

I didn't make on to the next round but I had an absolutely positive experience that I'd like to share.

I first read about the auditions in the Apparel News about 3 weeks before. I said "This is it, I have to do it". I had just finished design school here in Los Angeles in December but I have been working in the industry for about 5 years. I knew that they would be looking for seasoned industry professionals so I set up for a photo shoot so that I had pictures in my portfolio instead of sketches which I thought would be a dead giveaway of student work.

I got serious, I decided to make a new garment, something to show how I have grown in the short time that I have been out of school. I made this beautiful silk/linen trench coat that was lined in china silk, it was stunning and "poorly sewn" said the sample maker that made the buttonholes.

I picked my 3 best garments to show, a 3 layer chiffon dress, a sequin mini dress and an eyelet/chenille coat, all of which I loved even though they were made in school.

So then it comes down to the week of the audition. I can't get anyone to come with me. I ask my friend who modeled in the photo shoot if she would come with me and she responds, "Yeah, maybe I will come down and try-out", I say, "No, not exactly what I was asking". So she was out, I even try to fly my mom out from South Carolina, she can't do it. My husband switched weekends at work, so he couldn't go. Where was my support system?

On the Thursday before, my father in law offers to go and stand in line for me, I think that is so nice and take him up on his offer. I had to work on Friday night at the bar til 3a.m. so it allowed me to get a couple hours of sleep. I wake up Saturday, groggy and slightly buzzed still from all the "good luck" shots with my co-workers the night before. I call my husband, he says "hurry up and get dressed, my dad is number 20 in line". Oh crap, I get ready and I'm on my way.

I get to the Standard, everyone in line is super nice and excited. I met a guy named Jude from San Francisco, he said it was his 3rd time trying. He gave me lots of advice, on what the judges are going to ask. Laura comes around to interview me and ask me the infamous "what is your aesthetic" question, I go blank. She says you have to be quick and think of 3 words. She helps me to figure out my aesthetic and tells me I am so lucky to have my father in law there with me especially since it tax season, he is a CPA. "Boy, do I know it", I said "he is amazing. "

After all the pre interviewing, we move inside and someone looks at my portfolio and they ask if I have a problem with being on T.V. and then it's more waiting. I then change into my new trench that I made and put on my favorite vintage snake skin boots. I am ready. They take me upstairs and my father in law waits outside. He says "remember take a deep breath and you're talking about what you love". So off I go.

Upstairs it's quiet, because they are filming inside. Everyone is pacing and nervous. There is a really cute and stylish girl getting ready to go in, I think to myself, she probably has a good chance. Two minutes later she comes out saying "They were so mean and they passed on me". I start to get really nervous, I hope it's not like American Idol. The next few people go in and right back out, the judges were not wasting any time.

So now I'm up, a nice looking guy puts a mic on me and an intern ask me five times how to pronounce my name. I go in.

"Hi Lalaina, how are you?" says Tim Gunn. He says my name perfectly.

I put my garments on the rack and I have my back to them when I hear "I know you", it's Jennifer Eagan from GenArt. She says "you work for Heidi Merrick, you helped fit me for a dress". I say yes even though I quit working for her 2 days before. What I should have said was, yes I did your GenArt "fresh faces" show in 2003. But I didn't.

Tim Gunn ask "who are you as a designer?" I freeze for a moment and then just start talking, I start to describe how I used lobster claws to fasten my chiffon dress and how I thought it came out beautifully.

He responds with "did you study fashion history?"

"Yes", I said.

"Well then you know Schiapparelli has been using lobster claws for years." says Tim Gunn.

Inside I'm thinking, No, I didn't because our fashion history course stopped before 20th Century designers. Thank you very much, for calling me out on T.V.

But I respond with a stumbling, "I used hardware alot when I made handbags and it's just something that's carried over into some of my clothes."

Then there is alot of talking over each other and some uncertainty.

Tim Gunn says "you know I'm concerned because I have to look at every person that comes in here as the winner and whether or not they can produce a 12-piece collection. I'm just not sure that you can."

I stand there like a dog with it's tail between its legs. I am ready to crawl out of here heartbroken. Then the pretty blonde lady from Elle says, "I don't know Tim, I think there is something there, she has potential."

I look up, like I have been given a second chance. Tim Gunn responds, "Oh, I think she has potential, I just think that she needs a year to grow and to try again next year."

I don't know what to think! Then Jefferey Sebelia who has said nothing this whole time and has had this utterly bored look on his faces chimes in with "You know it's harder than it looks on T.V." Oh really? I think to myself and then I think some other things, but I won't go there.

So I say, "I understand" and I am ready to give up when Tim Gunn says,"You know I'm going to put you in the MAYBE category and at the end of the day we will discuss it and someone will call you." "Okay?"

"Okay?" I say, "Maybe is not a NO!" "Thank you!"

And that was it, I grab my clothes and my portfolio and I am out.

Then I realized, I forgot to tell them I made my entire outfit, maybe that would've changed their minds, but it was too late.

I got a maybe, and that was good enough for me. I felt like even though I didn't make on to the next round, because I never got the phone call, that somehow I was validated as a designer.

All the times in school when I never received any recognition because I wasn't one of the "favorites" didn't even matter now.

All that mattered was that one of the Editors of Elle Magazine and Tim Gunn of Parsons New York said that I have potential and that they saw something in me and that if I worked hard over the next year my chances would be great.

This was exactly the boost of confidence that I so desperately needed and you bet I will be back next year to do it all over again!

Thank you Project Runway and to Laura K of Blogging Project Runway for all the nice and encouraging things she said to me after the audition.

Lalaina Lee Duncan


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